Or How I Got a Swift Kick in the Ass
It’s been just over two months since I got laid off. Last week I turned in my final paperwork at Yahoo. I also did an interview with the NY Times to talk about how social media helps people who are back out looking for work again. And, as I’m prone to do, I Twittered about it. And the first reply came from @hci:
And that got me thinking. First of all, she’s right. That is a weird branding vibe. But it’s not really about that I got laid off, it’s more about what I do next because of it. I’m far from unemployed right now. I’m loving what I do now more than I ever have.
“Getting laid off” has a negative connotation. Which I get. One day you’re a productive wage earning member of society, the next day you’re unemployed. No purpose. No money. Misery. Depression. Unemployment checks. There’s this pathetic vibe that comes with that, and I think that’s what Cindy was associating me with.
But let’s flip that around. Two months ago, I was doing what I had to do. Now I’m doing what I want to do. And looking back, it was a change I’d always wanted to make, but as long as I was drawing a steady paycheck, I didn’t see it as a change that I could afford to make–for me or for my family. Looking long term, I’m not sure it was a decision I could afford not to make.
Getting laid off forced me to make the change that I’d always wanted to make anyways. And it may work out or it may not. But the point is that I’ve made that change now. I’m doing what I’m passionate about. I’m building things. I’m meeting people. There is no bureaucracy anymore. My future success depends entirely on me.
Over the past few months, I’ve found myself talking quite a bit about what happened to me. It’s been very therapeutic. And it’s also had its benefits in that it’s brought with it some recognition and the opportunity to meet some people I’d never have met otherwise. There’s been this inverse curve where the closer I was to the day, the more I talked and thought about it. I still talk and think about it, but in a much different context. Now the context is the amazing opportunity I’ve been given whereas then it was about what I’d lost.
Thanks to everyone who has been a part of things for the past few months. Sometimes, you just need a swift kick in the ass to get moving–this morning, my wife called it “forced change.” There’s that old saying that it’s not what happens to you, but what you do about what happens to you that matters. I’m hoping to make the best of this opportunity.
If you were forced to make a change, what would you do? Why are you waiting?
4 responses so far ↓
1 Anita (Beady) // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Love that piece, very well written and you are right. Let’s cast that whole negative vibe off “being laid off”.
“Change” in general scares people. I don’t know why, it scares me, but I’ll never admit it.
I learned that change is good. Being stuck in a rut isn’t. I immigrated from The Netherlands to New Zealand more than a year ago and if that is not a big change, then tell me what is?
2 Mandy // Apr 28, 2008 at 5:35 pm
First off, I love your blog, and I always enjoy reading your tweets. I learn a lot from you! So thank you for doing what you do.
And I agree - the idea of a lay-off, in many cases, is thought of too narrowly. I was ALMOST laid off not too long, and I was such a mix of emotions: I was worried of course, but I was surprised by how excited I was for a new opportunity. It turns out, I didn’t have to be laid off after all (long, annoying story), so now I was dealing with another mix of emotions: relief for the security, and disappointment for the missed opportunity. I’m still dealing with the disappointment, but now it’s motivating me to move on.
I’ve always wanted to be a freelance writer, and after the almost-layoff, I saw that goal more clearly. So now I’m trying to ignore the fear of freelancing (and my longstanding inferiority complex), and I am starting to slowly work at it.
Your experience is also motivating, so thank you for sharing it with the masses. I wish you lots of luck.
3 Daniel Holter // Apr 28, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I was forced to make a change 12 years ago and it was the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me in my career as a composer and producer.
It’s so hard to take the chance when you’re dependent on a paycheck… get too comfortable and you miss the golden window of opportunity opening right in front of you. That’s why many, myself included, needs a “swift kick in the ass” every once in a while.
And, hey, being hungry is a strong motivation to succeed!
4 Hessie Jones // May 1, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Hey Ryan. I have now officially joined the ranks of the unemployed. However, I’ve chosen this route but I find it really envigorating. It provides a lot of time for deep soul searching to figure out where I want to be at this juncture in my life. It also has made me realize the important things in life. The last 4 years of my career have been pretty exciting, fast paced, and literally a huge growth experience…but this time has also impacted my relationship with my family…I was seeing less and less of them, physically present but mentally absent at times and I was unable to really balance or prioritize at a time when they really needed me. So, this was an opportunity for me to stop the insanity and concentrate on the most important stuff. Unemployment sucks but it could also provide a new lease on life as well. Good luck and I will follow your travails !
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